How we'll work together
Let's look at what happens in the moment you want to change.
A recent evening, a difficult conversation or a decision you've been putting off can tell us more than a broad label. We start there, then work toward what you'd like to happen instead.
Start with your experience
What happens just before you do the thing you wish you wouldn't?
Perhaps you feel depleted and want a reward. Perhaps you expect disagreement to damage a relationship. Perhaps waiting feels safer than risking a result you can't control.
These are possibilities to explore together. We don't have to assume there's one hidden cause, or that every difficulty began in childhood. We look at your experience and see which explanation holds up.
From conversation to practice
Here's what the work can look like.
Describe a worthwhile change.
“Stop avoiding conflict” is a starting point. Being able to tell someone you disagree, explain your view and hear theirs gives us something more concrete to work toward.
Revisit a real example.
What happened? What did you expect? What did you feel and do? We slow the situation down enough to notice the part that usually passes automatically.
Explore another way to respond.
We may question an expectation, look at the situation from another perspective, or rehearse a response that fits both your goal and what matters to you.
Find out what happens in everyday life.
You'll have something to try or notice between sessions. We review what helped, what remained difficult and what needs adjusting.
For example
When food has become the reward at the end of the day.
We could begin with the last evening it happened. Were you hungry, tired, frustrated, or finally enjoying some time to yourself? What did the food seem to offer?
If it was a moment of relief, a plan that only removes the food may leave that need unanswered. We can explore what would make the evening satisfying while supporting the health you want.
This is an illustration of how we'd investigate a habit. Your reasons, priorities and useful next steps may be different.
Questions you may have
You should understand what we're doing and why.
What methods do you use?
I use careful questioning, reframing, perspective-taking, rehearsal and techniques associated with NLP. I'll explain what I'm suggesting and how it relates to your goal. We can change direction if an exercise doesn't help.
Do we have to explore the past?
Only when it seems useful and you're comfortable doing so. An earlier experience may help us understand a present assumption. We don't need to treat a memory as an exact historical record to reconsider what it means to you now.
How will we know whether it's helping?
We agree on what you'd like to notice in real situations, then return to those examples. Progress might mean speaking sooner, making a different choice or recovering more easily when an old response appears.
Pattern Shift is coaching and educational guidance. It does not replace psychotherapy or medical care.
A place to begin
What's a recent moment you wish had gone differently?
Bring that to a free 15-minute consultation. We can talk about what you want and whether this approach makes sense for you.